The Last Supper

My name is Adam and I’m from Texas. In Texas, we have the death penalty and we USE it! That’s right. If you come to our state and kill someone, we will kill you back. It’s our policy.*

I’ve been thinking a long time about this subject: the last supper. What would I request if it were my last meal? If I were going to die tonight at midnight in a Huntsville, Texas death row cell, could I even care about my last meal?

There is a web site called Dead Man Eating that chronicles all of the last meals of every inmate executed in the United States. You can read what the inmate received as his or her last supper as well as the conditions of the inmate’s residency on Death Row. At times, the information is a little more than one needs, but to see the list of what each inmate requests for the last supper evens the playing field slightly by making the person a little more human. The site contains some brutally morbid stuff, so don't be surprised.

At first glance, I thought I could answer this question with authority: barbeque brisket, beans, and potato salad. But my mind wandered: “wait, I like Tex-Mex, too. And I love German food. Mmmmm, some sauerbraten sounds really good right now. Great, now I’m really hungry.”

Before I give you my answer, let me challenge you to this exercise as well. I think the inmates in Huntsville probably have a different perspective, considering their last meal really is an intraveinuous injection of lethal chemicals. Honestly, if I were about to die, I’d have to weigh the reality of the situation. Perhaps it doesn’t matter what I eat because I’ll be dead soon. However, if I consider the quality of prison food on death row for 16 years, I think a lovely last supper would be nice.

It is hard to answer this question without thinking about death, and I think that gets in the way of forming a good answer. You don’t know what’s on the other side. If you believe in heaven, then a good meal couldn’t compare with what you can get up there. If you don’t believe in heaven, then you should live your life to the fullest and go out with a bang.

As I said before, I’m from Texas. And in Texas we have Tex-Mex food. Some of the best stuff around. True Tex-Mex combines foods from Mexico and Native Americans and mashes it up with Texas cattle drive food and ranch fare. I’ve eaten Tex-Mex more times than I could count, and that’s what I’d want for my last supper.

Tacos al carbon. Spanish rice. Refried beans (made with lard). Chips & Salsa. Queso. Flan and Sopapillas.

That is it.

And please, please. Don’t bother sterilizing the needle before you stick it in. That's just silly.

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comedy by Ron "Tater Salad" White