Written by adam on Apr 4, 2006

Weird Foods You Eat

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When you get married, each person brings a lot into the marriage. Furniture, CDs, appliances, clothes, and personal food likes and dislikes. Some of these likes can be construed as some pretty wacky by the other spouse. For instance, when I got married, TheWife learned that I loved to eat a breakfast dish in which I pour milk over broken up graham crackers. Let 'em get soggy, then scoop 'em up with a spoon. Voila! Instant breakfast.

She thought I was nuts.

Another milk item is called cake-milk. Simply take a glass, place two squares of chocolate cake down inside, and pour milk over it. Enjoy! Again, my wife questioned my sanity. This from a girl who would willingly put her lips to the brain cavity of a crawfish and suck. I'm actually joking about that. TheWife has never sucked the head of a crawfish.

My father was the master of teaching us innovative ways to find something to snack on when there were no Twinkies in the house. He taught us the rolled up tortilla with honey inside, or the split open wedge of cornbread with butter and cane syrup poured on top. My grandmother even taught me how to make a peanut butter and bologna sandwich, and to this day it still gives me warm memories.

Heather often gives me weird looks when I make some concoction out of nothing in the pantry. Go ahead and starve, I say. I'll be happy eating my cinnamon toast made from old hamburger buns. Some days, you just can't get to the grocery store.

But TheWife doesn't really have any weird foods she eats, it's more of the way she eats normal foods that's weird. For instance, she won't put butter or syrup on waffles, pancakes, or French toast. None. She won't sweeten or sour her iced tea. And not a single drop of condiment shall touch her hamburger or hotdog. No ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, BBQ sauce or anything will do. Plain Jane is her name.

But I overlook it all. It's what you do in marriage. If you ditch everyone based on the little things that bother you, happiness will be elusive. Hell, if I had done that, Heather and I would not have made a second date.